Whilst I reflect on the way we engage with each other, Mark Finnis writes in his book about conversations being nothing more than a series of small chats. I always seek daily chats with children, staff and parents to increase understanding – they are sometimes a challenge for some. That may be a question the parents ask of staff, or a question that staff ask of parents. These chats facilitate greater understanding for all and the resulting decisions made and hopefully accepted by all. There isn’t a need to sit down and have a formal meeting for most of what we do, but there is a need to listen, and to be given an opportunity to consider what has been shared. These chats allow all different perspectives to be considered.

In the book, Mark writes, ‘the secret to being a great listener is to spend less time talking than we do listening’. Whenever in group situations I am often very interested in who appears quiet. Often what those people have to say is of great value – they often choose to only say something that will make a difference, positively. It can be the same in the classroom, where some children seem quieter than others. The art of teaching involves drawing these quieter children’s ideas out and enriching the learning of all.

Often, good restorative conversations are nothing more than a series of small chats.

Mark Finnis

I have been asked in the past how I go about creating a culture that is positive, inclusive and appreciated by most people. On reflection, it’s all about the questions that are asked and not pretending to know all of the answers. I believe that by asking questions to further understand what we see, hear and feel, we are in a much better place to make decisions that make a difference. I think that this is relevant in all areas of life; not just leading a school. It is also about asking a challenging question and not just appeasing those that want things their way. We are a community and we must look at the bigger picture.

So the takeaway for me and this week is let’s keep asking questions without making judgements from the responses given. Let us ask questions to understand and listen carefully to those around us that are speaking, without the urge to interrupt or indeed, turn off. We may not agree with what is being said but will understand better the perspective of others.