This morning’s conversation with a colleague served as a stark reminder of why kindness matters, particularly in our profession. As educators, we navigate an increasingly complex landscape where the pressures multiply from every direction – accountability frameworks, budget constraints, staffing challenges – and yet it’s often the relentless nature of unjustified complaints that weighs most heavily upon us.

My friend’s struggle resonated deeply. Behind every headteacher’s door lies unseen burdens: the parent who complains about playground incidents whilst we’re managing safeguarding concerns; the email demanding immediate responses when we’re supporting a vulnerable family; the criticism of policies designed to protect all, not just one. These complaints, often rooted in misunderstanding rather than malice, accumulate like stones in a rucksack we carry daily.

What struck me most was the isolation in the voice. Leadership can be profoundly lonely, particularly when facing criticism that feels both personal and unwarranted. We pour our hearts into creating nurturing environments where children thrive, yet this dedication often goes unacknowledged when complaints dominate our interactions with some families. And for those determined to be unkind, send them love and keep your peace (even if your inner voice mutters something else!).

This is precisely why kindness isn’t weakness – it’s essential. Life presents different challenges to different people. That colleague juggling elderly parent care alongside headship; the teaching assistant managing chronic illness whilst supporting children with complex needs; the parent whose complaints mask their own anxieties about their child’s progress; the child that people want to be excluded, with a world turned upside down and being a young carer. Everyone’s carrying something.

Perhaps our response to relentless pressure shouldn’t be to harden ourselves, but to soften toward one another. A listening ear, a message checking in, acknowledgement that someone’s struggling – these small acts create lifelines. We cannot control the complaints, the pressures, or the demands, but we can choose kindness. Sometimes, that’s the most powerful thing we can offer in an often unkind world.

Where are you with this? I care… do you?