In Chapter 2 of Restorative Practice, Mark reminds us that belonging is not a luxury – it is a fundamental human need. Just as we require food and shelter to survive, we are wired to connect, to be seen, and to feel that we matter to those around us. In our schools, children and young people are navigating friendships, identities, and their place in the world, this need for belonging is never more visible or more fragile. And at the very heart of belonging lies loyalty.

Loyalty is what transforms a group of people into a community. Loyalty means standing by a friend when things get hard, choosing kindness even when it is inconvenient, and knowing that the people around them will show up – consistently and honestly. When a child trusts that their teacher, their classmates, and their school will not abandon them at the first sign of struggle, they feel safe enough to take risks, make mistakes, and grow.

Mark challenges us to think about who holds responsibility for building that culture. The quote, “You can’t put students first if you put teachers last,” cuts straight to the heart of this. Loyalty must flow in every direction within a school. Leaders must be loyal to their staff, staff must be loyal to one another, and together, that shared commitment creates the conditions where children genuinely thrive. A teacher who feels unsupported cannot sustainably pour warmth and safety into a classroom of 30 children. Wellbeing is not a hierarchy – it is an ecosystem held together by mutual loyalty.

“You can’t put students first if you put teachers last.”

Good teachers instinctively place children first. They notice the quiet child who hasn’t smiled all morning, the one picking at their lunch alone, or the child whose behaviour is telling a story their words cannot yet form. This quiet, daily attentiveness is itself an act of loyalty – a promise, renewed every morning, that every child in our care matters. But to sustain that level of presence, teachers must also be reminded of their own humanity. Beneath every job title – class teacher, SENCO, headteacher – is a person who needs connection, affirmation, and the reassurance that their colleagues are loyal to them too.

Three simple anchors, included by Mark, can help us hold onto this every day: smile, because it signals safety and belonging to a child who may have arrived carrying something heavy; focus on what you can control, channelling your energy into the relationships and moments directly in front of you; and don’t believe everything you think, because our inner critic rarely tells the full truth about how much our loyalty and presence means to the people we serve.

Loyalty is not grand or dramatic. In a school, it looks like remembering a child’s story, checking in on a colleague after a difficult day, and choosing, again and again, to show up fully. 

Belonging begins with loyalty – and loyalty begins with us.

Smile, be kind and be your brilliant self.